It is obvious that I need balance. I feel my blog helps me achieve that even though I do not promote my blog and chat with others. Up until now, I have not been ready to interact with others. I mostly needed to pull out my feelings from inside, and pay attention to them. No easy task. I am going to continue to seek balance within myself and those in my life.
Do you ever feel like you are NOT being heard? I am not the type of person who finds it necessary to yell and shout to let a person (or people) know I am getting angry, or perhaps they have crossed the line with me. Don’t let me get to that point. I do not like going there. My mother told me that, “the only thing you have control over, in your life, is how you respond to life.” That is the absolute truth. Also, much easier said than done, on some days.
Learning how and continuing to maintain balance, while you somehow must deal with excruciating pain on a daily basis. This alone is daily hell. Plus a bunch of other stuff. For example, I’ve never dealt with the death of my mother. We were best friends. We talked on the phone daily when I was between contracts. She died a little over 3 years ago now. I helped take care of her. She had breast cancer that metastasized holes in all her bones ankles, legs and the rest of her body, which made her bed bound the last 6 or more months, at the end.
When Mom got into her wheelchair I would zip her through certain areas of the house and she would yell in glee. That was fun. I did not have time to mourn my mother because I had to take over the responsibility of care giving for my father which I am still doing. This makes finding balance harder for me.
On stronger days; when I feel I can do this, I can see how blessed I truly am in my life. God is good to me. Stay on track with my father and work on that. It will all turn out fine. Work on websites and write articles. This makes me happy.
Remember the happy parts of your day so they will help the rest of your week be happy.
One of the things I always told my children was, “always be true to yourself.” They are young adults and I have been reminded of my words frequently. Okay that’s it for today. God Bless. ~ Think Clear ~
